Title: Friendship Catastrophe Author: dozens Contact: dozens@tilde.team Draft date: 2025-10-23

Act I

= Synopsis: Friendship Catastrophe, plucky young country hobbit from The Holler, straight off the farm, shares the origin of her name with her new friends

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

Adventures YTZU (mysterious warlock), FRIENDSHIP CATASTROPHE (naive monk), and DOLORES (motherly druid) are gathered around a campfire.

YTZU: (reluctantly making smalltalk to pass the time until morning) So, um. What's with the name?

FRIENDSHIP: (Thoughtfully) Well, I guess it all started when Great Gandpappy Catastrophe was a young man. (Slightly embarrassed) You see, he was kinda responsible for the death of his entire village.

DOLORES: (Shocked) Oh my goodness! What happened!

YTZU: (Being a smug know-it-all) Let me guess! He accidentally—-or purposefully!—-lead of a gang of bandits or a bunch of orcs or something back to the village.

FRIENDSHIP: Oh no. No, nothing like that.

DOLORES: (Relieved) Oh good.

CUT TO:

EXT. REMOTE MOUNTAIN RIVERHEAD – DAY – (FLASHBACK, SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS AGO)

Young Skeetsneevil Prosperity—-who will later be known as Grandpappy Catastrophe—-is a barefoot hillbilly hobbit, dressed in too-short overalls and a straw hat, and has a chinstrap beard. He looks around furtively, slyly, and giggles madly as he pours toxic black sludge from a wooden bucket into the waters. It hisses, smokes, and burbles as it sinks into the water.

GRANDPAPPY: Hee hee! Hoo whee! Haha! Hee hee, hoo hoo! Yeehaw!

FRIENDSHIP: (V.O.) He poisoned the water.

END OF FLASHBACK:

.BACK AT THE CAMPFIRE

DOLORES: (Aghast) What!!

YTZU ^ Fascinating.

FRIENDSHIP: And I'll tell ya what.. (Leans in closer) It was quite the catastrophe!

DOLORES: Oh my gods, why did he do it?

FRIENDSHIP: He thought the villagers were all spying on him while he was asleep, stealing his thoughts, that kind of thing. Anyway, after he poisoned everybody, he was in a bit of a jam! Angry mobs, pitchforks, whatnot. Luckily some good friends of his helped him escape. And that's why my family motto has always been, “FRIENDSHIP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!”

DOLORES AND YTZU: (Groaning, Facepalms) Ai-yi-yi!

REVERSE CIRCLE TRANSITION BRIEFLY FRAMING DELORES'S AND YTZU'S EXASPERATED FACES LIKE PORKY PIG AT THE END OF A CARTOON BEFORE CLOSING ALL THE WAY TO BLACK

THE END